THE EXCUSE OF THE YEAR!!

I'm sure by now all of you have heard about the racial tirade that "Dog The Bounty Hunter" went on last week. Now here is his reasoning behind why he did it. And I quote:

“I thought that I was cool enough in the black world to be able to use that word as a brother to a brother. I’m not. I didn’t really know until three or four days ago what that meant to black people. There’s a special connection that I thought I had between me and black America. And I used to say, ‘I’m black, too.’

“In other words, my whole life I’ve been called a half-breed, a convict, king of the trailer trash, this and that…so when I stood there and said, ‘I kind of know what you feel like, because I’ve been there, too,’ that I felt that I could embrace and like, as brothers…say the word. I now learned I’m not black at all, and I never did it out of hate. This sounds so stupid. I always did it out of love. Other white guys would be like, ‘Boy, who does Dog think he is? Dog can say that.’ And black guys would be with me and walk with me and respect me. So, I went too far with that.”

He also went on to say: "All black people in America I owe an apology to, Whether, how dark I think I am, I cannot say that word."

He then decided to take it a little too far by stating he is making a deal to be buried at a historic slave burial ground near first U.S. President George Washington's Mount Vernon home.

"I want to be buried right where they're at because I will never be forgiven as long as I'm alive," Chapman said.

I personally am waiting to hear tomorrow, that he now wants to go and get his skin blackened or he has a rare case of vitiligo after that last statement.

This excuse is far worse than the standard athlete's positive test rebuttal of "I used my teammates vitamin B12 shot" or "I thought it flax seed oil".

He might be selling this as a valid excuse, but I'm not buying it. How in the hell did he think he was black? If you can answer that please feel free to e-mail me with the reasoning. He needs to fire his publicist and get with Michael Richards and Don Imus' image rehabilitators.

He had over five days to formulate his thoughts on what he was going to say and this was the best he could come up with? I could have made something up better than that on the fly.