On this day seven years ago, when one of my best friends was laid to rest. He was a sophomore at Kansas State University and passed away on campus. I was a freshman at Howard at the time, I was at a track meet at the University of Maryland when I received the unfortunate news. I had run very well at the meet and called my mom immediately to let her know. I knew something was up, due to her tone on the other end of the phone, she didn't want to tell me, but I forced her to tell me anyway and I broke down. I had to leave the meet right then and there with my aunt and uncle. I had just talked to him that Wednesday on "BlackPlanet". I have had a hard time dealing with it since then, I was having nightmares about how he looked laying in the casket, it was several nights I would be on the phone with my mom at 1 or 2 in the morning. I was 18 about to turn 19 and had zero experience with how to deal with death of people you consider close to you. He was a guy I grew up with, went to the same church with, played on the church basketball team with, I was a "Beau" in the 1999 Beautillion after he was one in 1998, his birthday is May 15th, two days before my brother's. I have so many memories. When I go back to Denver, I still see his parents at church and my heart starts to hurt everytime I see them.I have been sitting around wondering if I was going to post something about it, I didn't last year, but I figured I may as well do it in hopes that maybe it will help me out as well. It's sort of like when I do these camps for these high school kids, helping them out with the basics in turn help me understand minor things too.
People who know me, know I am definitely an open individual and don't hold my tongue for much, but I have a hard time dealing with expressing my emotional feelings. I have found that maintaining this blog really helps me see eye to eye on certain things and come to grips with things as well, rather it be a poor performance in a race or life's usual going ons. Of course I have shed a few tears today, just like how my eyes well up a bit everytime I think of him. "If it is to be, it's up to me" was one of his favorite quotes he got from our high school Sunday School teacher, Mr. Ron Green Sr., and that is something I think about all the time, it's one of the truest quotes I have heard. I have and will continue to pray for him and his family, we all know he is in a better place.
7 comments:
Losing someone is never easy, especially when it is unexpected; No matter how many years pass. I'm sure Drew knew how much you cared for him and valued your friendship. Remembering the fun and crazy times that you shared with him is always a good thing and should never be forgotten. I'm sure he is looking down on you from heaven and whats the best for you.
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EMH
thank you for sharing...that was really touching. i got tears in my eyes just reading your words and that makes it obvious just how much he meant to you and what an amazing person he was.
They say dealing with a loss gets easier over time, but they don't say how to deal with it. And every time you think about that person, it feels like time has stood still. I do pray peace for you, his family, and the rest of those he left behind.
Dave I didn't know that this was the day that your friend passed away. It's a strange coincidence, wouldn't you say? I know how much his friendship meant to you and know how significant it is that you would share this with everyone. It was a blessing for you to have someone like this in your life and it really just lets us realize how much we should value the friendships that we do have and let those we care about know that while they are here. I will say a prayer too for you, for Drew and his family.
Hey David
We have discussed expressing yourself on you blog as a form of personal growth.
Good on you for doing this.
I'm sure it was not easy and I take my hat off to you for your strength and courage in doing so.
I can appreciate your openess because I know first hand how hard it is to write about this. My best friend passed away February 1, 2007. To try to express the pain in a way that people understand just how deep the pain is kinda creates the whole feeling of it happening all over again. I've tried writing about my best friend's influence on my life and the loss of her but I just can't seem to leave a post up long enough because it's somehow beyond personal for me. I commend you and I will definitely send a prayer up for you tonight.
Hey David, I don't know you but I relate with your story. Drew was one of my very best friends too and I think about him all the time. He was the most genuine and amazing person I have ever met. Always a smile on his face and hug for everyone. It just didn't make since and I didn't understand it at all. I honestly fell apart after it happened. It just seemed like such a horrible dream. You spoke of the funeral, I was there as well. Didn't it seem like in his speech he was talking directly to us? If ever you want to talk, my email is ashleypaulsen@yahoo.com.
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