On this day seven years ago, when one of my best friends was laid to rest. He was a sophomore at Kansas State University and passed away on campus. I was a freshman at Howard at the time, I was at a track meet at the University of Maryland when I received the unfortunate news. I had run very well at the meet and called my mom immediately to let her know. I knew something was up, due to her tone on the other end of the phone, she didn't want to tell me, but I forced her to tell me anyway and I broke down. I had to leave the meet right then and there with my aunt and uncle. I had just talked to him that Wednesday on "BlackPlanet". I have had a hard time dealing with it since then, I was having nightmares about how he looked laying in the casket, it was several nights I would be on the phone with my mom at 1 or 2 in the morning. I was 18 about to turn 19 and had zero experience with how to deal with death of people you consider close to you. He was a guy I grew up with, went to the same church with, played on the church basketball team with, I was a "Beau" in the 1999 Beautillion after he was one in 1998, his birthday is May 15th, two days before my brother's. I have so many memories. When I go back to Denver, I still see his parents at church and my heart starts to hurt everytime I see them.
I have been sitting around wondering if I was going to post something about it, I didn't last year, but I figured I may as well do it in hopes that maybe it will help me out as well. It's sort of like when I do these camps for these high school kids, helping them out with the basics in turn help me understand minor things too.
People who know me, know I am definitely an open individual and don't hold my tongue for much, but I have a hard time dealing with expressing my emotional feelings. I have found that maintaining this blog really helps me see eye to eye on certain things and come to grips with things as well, rather it be a poor performance in a race or life's usual going ons. Of course I have shed a few tears today, just like how my eyes well up a bit everytime I think of him. "If it is to be, it's up to me" was one of his favorite quotes he got from our high school Sunday School teacher, Mr. Ron Green Sr., and that is something I think about all the time, it's one of the truest quotes I have heard. I have and will continue to pray for him and his family, we all know he is in a better place.
4 weeks ago